NO

I hate that “No” can’t be an option

That the word cannot leave my lips

Without your fists clenching

My lips quiver

“No” begging to escape

But your entitlement forces a lie to sneak out instead

“I have a boyfriend” I must say

Even though no such man exists

Because a non-existent man’s claim to me

Will always bear more weight than my existent desire

What makes you think I was made for you?

Owed to you?

Exist for your gaze, fingers and tongue?

Parts that you weaponize and jab in my direction

“No” should be enough

Because I have my own gaze

My own fingers

My own tongue

My own desire that was built without you in mind

I exist and will always exist without you

But I hate how quickly my existence can be wiped out when you hear the word “No”

I hate that “no” is never enough for you

That hatred keeps building

Keeps bubbling and fermenting in the pits of my stomach

Until one day you approach me

Hungry for me, never letting go

Until I finally push you down

Press my heel onto your neck

Deeper and deeper

As you scream

“No”

“Please”

“Stop”

Deeper my heel gets

Plunging and ripping that pitiful neck

I will only listen to your “NO”

When someone comes to claim you

I smile and pierce you harder

Because I know no one ever will

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