I hate that “No” can’t be an option
That the word cannot leave my lips
Without your fists clenching
My lips quiver
“No” begging to escape
But your entitlement forces a lie to sneak out instead
“I have a boyfriend” I must say
Even though no such man exists
Because a non-existent man’s claim to me
Will always bear more weight than my existent desire
What makes you think I was made for you?
Owed to you?
Exist for your gaze, fingers and tongue?
Parts that you weaponize and jab in my direction
“No” should be enough
Because I have my own gaze
My own fingers
My own tongue
My own desire that was built without you in mind
I exist and will always exist without you
But I hate how quickly my existence can be wiped out when you hear the word “No”
I hate that “no” is never enough for you
That hatred keeps building
Keeps bubbling and fermenting in the pits of my stomach
Until one day you approach me
Hungry for me, never letting go
Until I finally push you down
Press my heel onto your neck
Deeper and deeper
As you scream
“No”
“Please”
“Stop”
Deeper my heel gets
Plunging and ripping that pitiful neck
I will only listen to your “NO”
When someone comes to claim you
I smile and pierce you harder
Because I know no one ever will